Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better
by Ryouko and Himizu
Summary: Yusuke and Kuwabara think that rescuing Yukina was easy, and we're gonna' show them that we can make it even easier! Watch as the three authors Ryouko, Himizu, and Kitsune along with Kurama and Hiei prove that anything you can do, we can do better!
1. Into The Virtual World

Disclaimer: We do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, or any of the characters. We also don't own _America's__Funniest Home Videos_, The Emperor's New Groove (or any of its characters), Finding Nemo, Treasure Planet, Golden Eye, James Bond, Nikolai Zherdev, the Russian Mafia, Yao Ming, Rick Nash, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp (damn), Daniel Radcliff, Mel Gibson (thank God!), Harrison Ford (thank God!), Brad Pitt, Ashton Kurtcher, Leonardo Decaprio (thank God! Though he's adorable when he's young) , Koga, Sesshomaru (damn), or Brittany Spears. And praise the Lord. Where would we store them all?

Description & Rating: The three authors, Kurama, and Hiei all transport themselves into the Rescuing Yukina episodes to see for themselves if the girls can rescue Yukina. They have several misadventures and get to meet members of the Virtual YYH cast.

Rated PG because of minor language and action violence. You know how movie raters are. Some scenes could be counted as Mary Sue, depending on how tightly you view it. If you're not bothered by glomping and strangely worded sentences that _could_ be taken for Mary Sue, then this is perfect for you. If you are bothered, you need a psychiatric examination.

Credits: Written by Himizu

With suggestions from Ryouko and Kitsune

**A/N: **This story is finished. Done. Complete. Overwith. However, we are only posting one chapter at a time because if we don't it'll be way too long! And we don't want that. Secondly…WE WANT REVIEWS! So tell us what you think. .

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

**Chapter 1:** Into the Virtual World

Ryouko, Himizu, and Kitsune were watching T.V. They had been surfing channels for hours and were totally bored. After sitting and playing a few rounds of 'What do you want to do?' 'I don't know, what do you want to do?' for a while, they gave up and just sat. Himizu sighed.

"I wish something exciting would happen. Or that I had my grandpa's four-wheeler. Then I could MAKE something happen." Ryouko and Kitsune exchanged nervous glances. "Hello, I don't want to wait until I'm sixteen before I take a joyride," Himizu muttered, as though this was something everyone wanted to do.

"Can you drive?" wondered Kitsune.

"Of course I can drive! What do you think I am, a moron?"

"No, we think you're an idiot. Have you crashed before?" asked Ryouko.

"Only once. That stupid car moved at the last second, I almost missed it. It wasn't my fault. Stupid rusty pickup truck and stupid raccoons."

"Raccoons!" asked Ryouko and Kitsune together.

"Yeah, raccoons drive my grandparent's rusty old junky cars all the time. There's about ten or twelve cars and trucks out there that haven't seen asphalt in about fifteen or twenty years and the raccoons drive them."

"You're psycho," Ryouko claimed.

"Maybe I am. But I still wish something would happen."

At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Himizu and Kitsune twisted to look at Ryouko. They raised their eyebrows, as though wondering who it could be. Then they heard a loud voice, which they identified as Kuwabara's, yelling as the door was banged harder then ever, "Hey, where are you crazy girls? We know you're here! Because Kurama and Hiei say you are! And they've never been wrong! So open up!" Himizu moaned.

"Why them? I didn't mean for _them_ to come!"

"We felt the weirdest urge to come," they heard Kurama saying as they walked to the door. "It was like we were being summoned…" Himizu buried her head in her hands.

"Me and my big mouth." But when she got to the door, her jaw dropped. Keiko and Yukina were sitting on a vehicle, which could only be her grandpa's four-wheeler. "Ok, **HOW** did you get a hold of that? Never mind. I don't want to know."

"Kurama-sama!" cried Kitsune.

"Some things never change," said Ryouko. They all went downstairs, leaving the four-wheeler in front of the door. Then they sat for a while, playing 'What do you want to do?' 'I don't know, what do you want to do?' Just when it seemed as though they were all going to go mad, Yusuke noticed a box of DVD's on Ryouko's dresser. He picked them up and began to study them.

"Hey, these are our first episodes, all the way up to when we're done rescuing Yukina."

"Really?" Kuwabara looked over his friend's shoulder. "Hey, you're right! Let's watch 'em!"

"Sure, why not. There's nothing else better to do," muttered Ryouko, leading the way to the T.V. "What do you want to watch first?"

"Start with the disk where we watch the video. I love watching Kuwabara's love-struck face!" exclaimed Yusuke. Hiei looked anything but overjoyed by this prospect. Ryouko glanced over at him with an evil grin, causing Hiei to touch the hilt of his katana.

"Ok, let's begin." And Ryouko made certain that she started a conversation right as a hint was dropped that Hiei and Yukina were brother and sister. Eventually, an argument was started when Yusuke said that rescuing Yukina was the easiest mission ever. Kitsune snorted.

"If that's the case, I'd hate to see how long it would take you to do a hard mission," she muttered. Ryouko and Himizu began to laugh hysterically.

"She's got a point!" cried Himizu, still laughing.

"Oh, like you could do any better," sneered Yusuke.

"Oh, watch us!" exclaimed Ryouko.

"Big words for a person who can't even do it. You'd have to go to our world and you know that you can't do that," said Kuwabara with a snort.

"Actually, they could…" said Kurama slowly.

"We can! Excellent!" exclaimed Ryouko, rubbing her hands together.

"I don't know if it's entirely safe. First, the transportation device has never been tested on people from your world, secondly, you've never been to our world and have no idea what you are getting into…"

"Have no idea what we're getting into? What do you think we watch Yu Yu Hakusho for?" demanded Kitsune. "Right Himizu?"

"You watch it for your reasons, I'll watch it for mine. I personally watch it for the fights and the comedy."

"But you watch it. And you would be of some help… I guess…" said Kitsune slowly, considering her words.

"All right, all right. On two conditions."

"Shoot," said Yusuke. He was curious to see how the three young authors would handle the world of Yu Yu Hakusho.

"One, we take the four-wheeler. Two, I drive."

"Sounds like fun. I've always wanted to ride that thing," said Ryouko. "Just don't crash again. And I wanna' get to drive a little too"

"Fine, I'll find a place where you can get a little driving experience. And I told you, that wasn't my fault! It was those baka raccoons!"

"You shouldn't be insulting your cousins."

Himizu and Ryouko glowered at each other. Kurama sighed. "So you mean you're going to risk it?"

"Hell yeah!" exclaimed Himizu. "Why not? It'll be fun."

"You've perked up since we said that you could drive the four-wheeler," said Kitsune.

"You don't seem to realize the risks involved," Kurama argued. "There's radiation and all sorts of complicated electronics, plus some very dangerous Spirit World chemicals. You have no idea what those could do to you if something goes wrong. **I** don't even know what could happen!"

"And I thought you were supposed to be a genius," muttered Himizu. "Sorry Kurama, but unless you can convince me that there's any real danger involved, I'm going."

"Weren't you listening to me!" cried Kurama.

"Yeah. It sounds like normal Earth to me. Radiation, electricity, etc. Although those Spirit World thingamajiggers sound iffy, how dangerous could they be?"

Kurama gave up. "There's just no dealing with some headstrong females," he muttered. Himizu punched him. Kitsune punched Himizu back and went to Kurama's aid.

"Cut the chatter. Just set the thing up so we can get going," said Himizu, rubbing her cheek where a small purple bruise had appeared. Kurama wandered off muttering about idiots and morons who never listen to anyone. But he got it set up and Himizu, Ryouko, and Kitsune piled onto the four-wheeler. Himizu pulled out a motorcycle helmet and put it on. She handed one each to Ryouko and Kitsune and they all strapped their helmets on, although this made Kitsune nervous.

"Ummm… Why the helmets?"

"Because they look cool and they're a good precaution," Himizu answered. Kitsune twitched. "It's unfamiliar territory and I don't want spiders in my hair. Those things are SCARY! Even when I can see them. Think what I'd do if they were in my hair!"

"You'd do a primitive war dance?" Ryouko guessed. "If it even resembles the chicken dance, I'm bringing a video camera to tape it and send it to _America's Funniest Home Videos_."

"Shut up!"

Kurama looked as though he was about to say something, but Ryouko drew her hand across her throat meaningfully. She knew he was thinking of the giant blue spider that they were bound to run into, but Ryouko wanted this to be a surprise for later. So Kurama shrugged. "Hold on tight ladies. It's ready to go."

Light flashed and Himizu gripped the four-wheelers handlebars eagerly. Ryouko and Kitsune grabbed the bars on the sides as a rush of swirling blue light flew forward to envelop them and transport them to Yu Yu Hakusho world. Botan looked around nervously.

"We're sending humans into our world. Koenma is going to kill me. He'll lecture me about sending them there without proper transportation, we don't have permission, and if they die there, he'll lecture me about giving him more paperwork! Somebody should stop them!"

"Stop Ryouko, Himizu, and Kitsune?" snorted Hiei. "Fat chance!"

Botan turned her pleading gaze to Kurama. "Kitsune and her friends aren't prepared to face the dangers of our world. Can't you do anything to stop them?"

"No," Kurama replied, "It's too late for that. But…" A grin appeared on his face. "There is a way to keep them out of trouble. Are you game, Hiei?" Hiei stared at him for a moment then took one giant step backwards.

"Hell no! You can go hang out with those psycho females if you want to, I'm not going."

"Wanna' bet?" asked Kurama, grabbing the sleeve of Hiei's cloak and grabbing the bar on the back of the four-wheeler with the other. Hiei had no time to wiggle away; Kurama had grabbed the four-wheeler just before the blue light enveloped it completely. It widened momentarily to allow the two boys in, then closed and vanished. The remaining members of the YYH group stared in shock at the point where it vanished. Would they ever see their friends alive again?


	2. This Way To Your Doom

**Disclaimer: **

Ryouko: (riding the four-wheeler she stole from Himizu) We don't own YYH or any of its characters, but for the time being, I totally own this four-wheeler, wohoo!

Himizu: (bound and gagged) Umpgheobutd boadugadta! (loose translation: I'll get you for this, you witch!)

Chapter 2:

This Way to Your Doom

Botan's communicator suddenly beeped. She opened it and found herself looking at Kurama's face. He was obviously being spun rapidly, because his hair was twisted and blowing every which way around his head.

"I just wanted to let you know that there's a camera here and you can watch us and our progress on Ryouko's T.V."

"Thanks Kurama. How's everything?"

"Ryouko is enjoying this. Kitsune looks like she's about to throw up. Himizu is pretty pale and I think she's mad at me. She's teaching me a lot of new insults. She could give Yusuke lessons. And Hiei, well, see for yourself." Kurama turned the communicator so that it was pointing at Hiei. The tiny fire demon had turned an unhealthy greenish tinge and as they watched, Hiei clapped a hand to his mouth and ducked out of sight. Kurama reappeared. "All in all, I think it will be better for everyone when we land."

"Except for you, Kurama. When we land, I am going to kill you," Hiei growled. He retched and ducked out of sight again. Kurama shrugged.

"He'll be okay. I think we're going to land soon, so I'll talk to you all later."

"Okay Kurama, over and out," Botan chirped. Yusuke and Kuwabara were already charging off towards the T.V. Keiko shook her head.

"It's not nice to make fun of their misfortunes, Yusuke. Stop laughing."

"Will they be okay?" Yukina wondered.

"Of course they will!" laughed Botan. "With Kurama and Hiei there, what could go wrong?"

Famous last words.

THUMP! The four-wheeler landed on a grassy hilltop. Everyone shook their heads and took slow breaths to stop the world from spinning. Kitsune and Hiei tumbled off and lay staring at the brilliant blue sky. Himizu leaned forward, draping herself over the handlebars. "I am going to kill you Kurama. As soon as the world stops spinning. Urgh."

"That was fun!" exclaimed Ryouko. "Let's do it again!"

"Let's not and say we did," Himizu replied. "Take me now Lord! Put me out of my misery!"

"But we're here. Don't you want to do the mission?" asked Kurama.

"Shut up. I'm trying to stop the world from going round and round and round and round and round and………." She trailed off miserably.

Kitsune and Hiei weren't even bothering to talk. They just lay on the grass with their eyes closed. Himizu glared daggers at Kurama.

"Why didn't you tell us that this would be a giant spin-o-rama?"

"I didn't think you'd be bothered," he answered.

"Some people do have a problem with motion sickness, you know," muttered Himizu as she lay staring at the trees in front of her."

"Sorry," said Kurama with a shrug. Ryouko looked bored.

"Can we go yet?" she asked. Himizu pushed herself upright.

"I guess so. Anything's better then just sitting here," she mumbled. "Come on Kits, come on Hiei, up and at 'em. And if you need to puke, do it now, 'cause the first person to do it on the four-wheeler gets an up-close encounter with the nearest tree."

"That's comforting," said Kitsune, dragging herself to the four-wheeler. Hiei didn't move.

"Maybe he did us all a favor and died," said Himizu. Hiei's eyes snapped open.

"Fat chance, ningen. I'm not about to die just to make you happy."

"You wouldn't do anything to make me happy, but I was serious about the tree thing." She turned back to the four-wheeler. "Five people will be a bit of a squeeze, but I think we'll all fit." She stood up shakily and walked around the four-wheeler slowly. "I'll sit in the front, obviously. Then someone can sit right behind me. The remaining three can squeeze in a row in the back. Let's see, how is the best way to arrange this?" She now looked at her four passengers. "You boys can sit in the back on the corners. The real question is, which girl can sit between you two without squashing you like sardines?" She pondered this for about three seconds. "Oh heck, you're going to get squished anyway. Who wants to sit in the back?"

"I want to sit next to Kurama!" cried Kitsune.

"Okay, you can sit in the back then. Have fun."

"Ya min!" said Kitsune cheerily. Ryouko and Himizu looked at each other.

"Yao Ming?" they asked curiously. Ryouko frowned.

"You like too many people. First there's Kurama, then there's that dude from the Russian Mafia…"

"His name is Nikolai Zherdev and he is not in the Russian Mafia!" argued Himizu. "He's a hockey player and he's not even allowed to go back to Russia, as far as I know."

Ryouko continued as though nothing had happened. "And now you're in love with a seven-foot tall Chinese basketball player. It doesn't make sense. There is no pattern!"

"I'm not in love with Yao Ming. I didn't even say Yao Ming. I said 'Ya min'." Kitsune looked indignant.

"Same difference. Now if we want to show Yusuke and Kuwabara that we can carry out this mission more effectively then them, which, may I remind you, is the whole point of this mission, we really ought to get going. Are you coming or not?" Himizu demanded. Everyone climbed on and Himizu gunned the engine. "Oh boy! Here we go!" she yelled and pushed down on the switch connecting to the gas. The four-wheeler shot off through the trees. Himizu's wild steering and hairpin turns caused Kurama to go white and make Kitsune and even Hiei look scared. Himizu and Ryouko whooped with joy as they sped across an open stretch in the forest.

"Do you plan on stopping when we see those demons?" yelled Ryouko.

"Heck no! I'm going to run right over them!" Himizu called back. "And Kurama and Hiei have to promise not to help unless we ask, okay?" Both boys shrugged indifferently. Kurama was thinking a lot more about staying alive during this drive then a few demons (And Himizu's getting her drivers license in a couple years… Scary, isn't it?).

As they drove, a tall thin man stepped out of the trees. "You are trespassing. Go somewhere else," he commanded. Himizu stopped the four-wheeler and executed a perfect 90, spraying dirt and leaves into his face.

"Give me a reason," she replied.

"Himizu, your mouth is going to get us all killed if you don't learn to shut up," Kitsune groaned.

"True that," said Ryouko. "But hopefully you and I can escape."

"Thanks for the support ladies, I appreciate it," said Himizu sarcastically.

"No problem, but who the hell are you calling a lady?" Ryouko asked.

The man had by now transformed into a hideous combination of plant and elephant. Himizu made a face. "Yuck! Go plant yourself somewhere else, you hideous Venus flytrap. On second thought, don't. The poor ground. You couldn't insult it that badly." The demon growled menacingly, but Himizu was done talking. "Oh well, I'll do it anyway." She revved up the engine and plowed straight over the plant-like demon and away into the woods. Hiei and Kurama turned around to see what resembled a very grotesque green rug lying limp and flat almost laminated to the ground.

"Ouch," muttered Kurama. "But at least he's not _on_ this thing."

"You say something Kurama?" Himizu asked, turning around while driving to face him. Kitsune and Ryouko screamed as a giant tree loomed ahead of them. Himizu turned the handlebars in an almost indifferent manner, barely avoiding the tree.

"ARE YOU MAD? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US ALL KILLED? DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!" bellowed Hiei.

"No to the second, I don't know to the first, and yes to the third. I must, since I'm riding around with you maniacs," Himizu replied coolly.

"WHO'S A MANIAC? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S BARRELLING THROUGH A FOREST AT SEVENTY MILES AN HOUR, RUNNING OVER DEMONS, AND COMING TWO INCHES FROM RUNNING INTO GIANT TREES!" Hiei screamed at her. Himizu sighed.

"First of all, this thing doesn't even go seventy miles an hour. Secondly…two inches, bah. I wouldn't think you'd be worried about a distance that's a tenth of your height…" Hiei's katana whirled up to touch her neck. Himizu rolled her eyes. "Really, that threat is pointless. I'm the only one that knows how to drive this, so unless you want to hoof it, which I'm sure that our companions won't find nearly as pleasurable as you will, you'll take that piece of scrap metal away from my neck. Not that I really care about my neck, mind you, there's just this small matter involving the fact that it holds my head in place…"

"SHUT UP AND DRIVE!" Hiei yelled, although he did pull the katana away from her, just in time for Himizu to steer around another tree. She screeched to a halt and looked around. "NOW WHAT?" cried Hiei in exasperation.

"Umm… Does anyone know where we are?" asked Himizu. "And where the castle is from here?"

"YOU MEAN YOU'VE BEEN DRIVING AROUND WITH NO IDEA WHERE THE STUPID CASTLE IS?" Hiei yelled. His voice was becoming distinctly cracked and faint.

"You might want to stop yelling. Your precious voice box is deteriorating," said Himizu calmly. "And to answer your question, yes, I have been driving around aimlessly. I should have gotten directions from that guard that I was lucky enough to find earlier."

"YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHERE WE WERE THEN EITHER?" cried Hiei, his voice nearly dying from the effort to shout.

"Nope. I haven't had a clue the whole time. It's not like Yusuke, Botan, and Kuwabara used a compass much. They used that little pinky string thingy that only a moron like Kuwabara would ever have. So yeah, I'm kinda' lost."

"And you only figure this out after taking us about 100 miles into the middle of nowhere…Superb. Hiei, if you wanna' kill her now, go ahead. I can take over the four-wheeler," proclaimed Ryouko.

"You don't even know how to drive a four-wheeler! I've been driving this thing since I was seven, maybe even younger!"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I've been driving four-wheelers since I was four. So you lose."

"Since you were four? I don't believe that."

"Well, believe it. My uncle had one and he'd take me riding on it all the time. He even let me drive it every once in a while. So like I said, Hiei, feel free to kill her at any time." Ryouko smiled. Himizu glared.

"That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair."

"Tell you what. You promise to keep Hiei from killing me and I'll let you drive as much as you want once this thing is over. Deal?"

Ryouko considered, then smiled. "Works for me," she said. Hiei stared angrily at both girls the entire time.

Kitsune, who was getting paler and paler as the conversation progressed, looked pleadingly at Kurama. "Surely you know a way out of this."

"The solution is simple, you really should have thought of it earlier. Just send Hiei or myself up a tree to take a look around," Kurama answered calmly.

"Oh… Okay! Let's do it!" said Himizu cheerfully. "Up you go, Hiei."

"Why me? Do I look like a squirrel to you?"

"No, actually you look a bit like a skunk, which I just now noticed and it's really freakin' me out right now, so just get up the stupid tree already."

Hiei called her several different kinds of a freaking bastard, but Himizu ignored him, so he climbed up.

"You know," Ryouko said, "now that you mention it, he does kinda' resemble a skunk. But you know what that means?"

"What?" Himizu asked.

"That he's your cousin, no da. You're a raccoon, remember."

Himizu glared. "One of these days I'm going to crack and shoot you."

"And you'll fail, like the better assassins before you who tried." Ryouko taunted.

Before Himizu could reply, Hiei called out, "The castle's that way." Everyone looked up. He was pointing in the opposite direction that they'd been traveling. Himizu blinked.

"So that's where the path was leading," she said after a moment.

"What path?" demanded Ryouko.

"The path back where we ran over the Venus flytrap that was leading in that direction," Himizu answered coolly.

"YOU SAW A PATH AND DIDN'T TAKE IT! BAKA!" cried Ryouko in annoyance. Himizu ignored her and, as Hiei landed back in the four-wheeler, tore off. When they arrived at the place where they had laminated the Venus flytrap demon, they saw a path leading in the direction Hiei had indicated. Above it hung a large sign with flashing red letters ten feet tall that read "To Tarukane's Hideout". Everyone face-faulted.

"HOW THE HECK DID YOU MISS THIS?" cried Ryouko.

"Hey, I didn't hear anyone telling me to go down that way, you all must have missed it too," Himizu argued..

"I saw it!" cried Kitsune. Himizu turned around furiously.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" she yelled.

"You never asked," Kitsune answered simply. Himizu cursed under her breath and sent the four-wheeler tearing down the path.


	3. Spiders And Dragons

**Disclaimer:**

Ryouko: We don't own YYH, it's characters, or anyone/thing else involved, including Hiei's Black Dragon (though I'm considering stealing him) and that big, blue, demon spider.

Himizu: (starts running around like a lunatic) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDER!AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (Ryouko hits Himizu with a mallet and knocks her unconscious)

Ryouko: Ah, sweet silence. (starts reading random Agatha Christie book)

Chapter 3: 

Spiders and Dragons

As Himizu raced along the path, the four-wheeler hit a low hill and flipped. "WIPE-OUT!" bellowed Himizu as they flew through the air. Hiei stuck out his katana, which bit deeply into a branch, and he seized Ryouko as she flew past. Kurama twirled his rosewhip around a branch and grabbed Himizu by the hood of her sweatshirt, nearly choking her in the process. Both boys hauled the girls onto a branch before pulling themselves up, and then they all scanned the area for Kitsune. Finally Hiei pointed to Kitsune's helmet, which lay on the ground several yards away. Following the general direction of his finger, they saw Kitsune dangling upside-down, almost completely hidden by foliage. Swinging down on Kurama's rosewhip, they hurried towards her. However, Himizu, still massaging her throat, took a detour and ran to the four-wheeler, which lay upside down on the ground.

"Phew. It looks fine," she muttered, grabbing a large tree limb and using it as a lever. With help from Kurama, Ryouko, and a very reluctant Hiei, the four-wheeler landed upright with a reverberating crash and Himizu drove it over to where Kitsune was hanging. Kitsune was hanging upside-down in the middle of a gigantic spider web. Himizu turned very pale, almost the color of new-fallen snow. "That must be some darn big spider…" she muttered nervously, the corner of her eye twitching.

As though summoned by Himizu's somewhat shaky voice, a gigantic blue spider with long blonde hair appeared in the web. Kitsune saw it first and screamed. Himizu saw it next. There were two seconds of silence, then she began to scream bloody blue murder.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Then she pushed down hard on the gas switch, shooting straight through the spider web, sending the spider flying to who knows where, and leaving behind four very stunned people. The web fell and Kitsune began to plummet. Ryouko ran towards her, arms outstretched, calling,

"Don't worry Kitsune, I've got you." Kitsune fell right in front of her arms. "Oops," muttered Ryouko. Kitsune stood up dazedly and was immediately grabbed around the waist by Kurama, who then went swinging off through the trees on his rosewhip, following Himizu. Ryouko looked at Hiei, who made a face.

"Don't get any ideas. I'm just doing this because I see no other way around it," and saying that, he grabbed Ryouko and raced off by way of treetops. The foursome landed on the four-wheeler, but it might have been better if they had remained in the trees because Himizu stopped the four-wheeler so suddenly that they all flew into the air again. Kurama grabbed Kitsune, who glomped him happily, and Hiei grabbed Ryouko, who glomped him, but not as energetically as Kitsune. They looked down and saw Himizu who was breathing in heavily. It sounded as though she hadn't inhaled since she started screaming. Suddenly, she went white again and jumped off the four-wheeler and began to run around in circles screaming,

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDERSPIDER!" With a little help from Hiei, Ryouko climbed down and picked up a tiny brown spider, no larger then a pencil eraser, examining it.

"_This_ is what you're yelling about now?" she demanded. Himizu looked at it and her.

"Yes." Then she continued screaming until Ryouko flicked it away. Then it was as though nothing happened. Himizu smiled cheerily and climbed back on the four-wheeler.

"Okay, let's go." Everyone stared at her. Then Hiei began to yell at her furiously.

"YOU #$$ING BAKA $#&! ARE YOU MAD? YOU HALF-KILL US JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF A $#ING SPIDER THE SIZE OF A #&$ING BALL OF LINT!"

"SPIDER? WHERE! And if I'd been thinking straight, I would have completely killed you…"

"WHY YOU $&$&ING $ING $(#! FOOLISH BAKA FREAK! SCUM OF THE EARTH! LILY-LIVERED CRAVEN-HEARTED $&&ING #$$&$ COWARDLY &$(ING CHICKEN!"

"**_CHICKEN_**? I'LL SHOW YOU CHICKEN! WHY DON'T YOU LOSE YOUR VOICE ALREADY, YOU #$$ING LITTLE MIDGIT !$!?" Himizu shouted right back. "IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING, THEN GO BOIL YOUR #ING UGLY HEAD IN A #$$#ING POT OF BOILING WATER, YOU #$!#$$$ING $#$#&!"

Kitsune crouched under a tree, hands clamped tightly over her ears saying, "My poor virgin ears. Please stop cussing."

"Ho boy," muttered Kurama. "This could take a while to settle down."

"No kidding Einstein?" Ryouko called, sounding annoyed. "Those two are always at each others throats and it always takes superhuman-Younger-Toguro-strength to get those two away from each other. Maybe they'll fight and Himizu will lose. That would be great."

"The way she's acting right now, she sounds ready to take on the entire world, Toguros, Karasu, Hiei, and every human and demon the world can offer. Of course, we all know that she wouldn't fight. She'd either bury them in insults or bore them to death. Unless it was Karasu or Elder Toguro, then she'd get a bunch of bombs or grenades. And then we'd see mass destruction. I wonder which city she'd level first…" said Kitsune.

"My guess would be Detriot…"Ryouko said.

Then they all heard a strangled croaking sound. Everyone stared at Hiei, who was clutching his throat and making the strangest noises. Ryouko took a tentative step forward. "Hiei? Are you okay? Do you have a frog in your throat?" she asked, sounding torn between concern and amusement.

"Of course he's okay" Himizu replied coolly. "He's just lost his voice, at last, that's all. He really should learn to control his temper. Too much yelling can increase a person's risk of having a heart attack or stroke and I know he wouldn't want anything to happen to his precious body..."

Hiei made a very viscous croaking sound that probably meant, "Touch me and you die, ningen. Just because I can't talk doesn't mean I can't kill." Himizu made a face at him and grinned.

"This is great! I can insult you as much as I want and there's nothing you can do about it, you acorn!"

"MY LINE!" cried Ryouko.

"Yeah, Hiei lost his voice. Happiness," said Kitsune under her breath. She was using more common sense than Himizu, who was boldly allowing Hiei's wrath to descend upon her like a thundercloud.

Himizu was now grinning like a deranged hyena. "I am going to have fun with this."

Hiei summoned the black dragon, without words. As it flew out, Himizu quickly pushed Ryouko in front of her. "You must sacrifice yourself for me! You will be rewarded!" she exclaimed.

"Right. By who? And when? My I remind you that I'm Jewish, and that the promise of virgins in heaven doesn't appeal to me that much," Ryouko snapped irritably. She wasn't keen on becoming a sacrifice. She looked at the dragon that came swooping down at her, ready to suck her into oblivion. "Hi!" said Ryouko.

The dragon stopped. He cocked his head and looked at her quizzically. Ryouko sighed. Was it scary and stupid? Wait! That sounds like the Toguros! "Hello. I come in peace," she said finally. The dragon opened his mouth. This was the end! It was going to devour her! The dragon revealed his fangs.

"Shalom," he growled. Everyone face-faulted. Hiei carried a look that plainly said,

"Is this _MY_ dragon!"

Kitsune stared in shock. "It's an Israeli dragon?"

"It can't be. It came from Spirit World," said Kurama, trying to stay reasonable, not an easy thing to do after this horrible misadventure.

"Well, it speaks Hebrew, there's no denying that one," Kitsune said finally. Himizu was the only one able to comment who didn't, she just stared blankly.

Ryouko finally gathered her wits. "You speak Hebrew!" she gaped.

"Roar roarrr grr," the dragon replied.

"I see. Since you were just a little one? How'd you learn?"

"Roaarrrr, grrrrrr, roar roar roar."

"Fascinating. You're pretty intelligent. So how'd you know that I spoke it?"

"Grrrr roar roar grrr roaaarrrrrr."

"My accent's that strong? Wow. And people always told me I sounded American."

Everyone sweatdropped. Himizu finally found her voice. "Did I miss something?"

"I think we all did," Kurama said faintly. He sounded as though he were about to pass out. Hiei's knees gave way and he found himself sitting on the grass.

"It's my dragon and I never understood it at all. It never spoke Hebrew to me either," he thought.

"This is way too weird!" exclaimed Himizu.

"This is way too freaky!" exclaimed Kitsune.

"This is way too implausible!" exclaimed Kurama.

"This is way too cool!" exclaimed Ryouko. And she and the dragon were off, talking away like they were life-long friends. And starting now, they were.


	4. After The Fireballs And Landmines

**Disclaimer: **

Ryouko: Hello everyone. Believe it or not, in this disclaimer I shall not torture Himizu…

Himizu: About damn time.

Ryouko: Shut up. Anyways, the reason for this is because we have joined together in a common goal. First off we don't own YYH, but more sadly…WE DON'T OWN THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE! T.T So today we two shall mourn this sad fact by…singing!

Ryouko and Himizu: KKUUUZZZZCOOOOO! What's his name? (this is going to continue for a while, so onto the fic!)

**Chapter 4: After the Fireballs and Landmines**

"Soooo…" said Kitsune slowly.

"Why am I thinking of Kronk in The Emperor's New Groove? You know, the part where Kronk is talking to the squirrel and it's squeaking and squealing and he's talking to it and Yzma's going, 'Why me, why me?' That's what I'm thinking of right now," Himizu finally stated.

"That's the best movie!" And Kitsune began to sing one of the songs from the movie. "KKUUUZZZCCCCCOOOOOOO! What's his name? KKUUUZZZCCCCCOOOOOOO! Is he hip or what? KKUUUZZZCCCCCOOOOOOO! He's the king of the world! KKUUUZZZCCCCCOOOOOOO!" As she sang, she danced around energetically, trying her very best to imitate Kuzco's method of dance. Hiei stuck out his foot and tripped her. Immediately she was on her feet yelling, "GAH! You threw off my groove!" Then she put on a mock pout and turned her back on him. Himizu jumped eagerly forward, grabbing the fire demon around the neck with both hands.

"I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove." Then she mustered all her strength, picked Hiei up and threw him through the air. "Hey, you're not saying your line! You're supposed to be yelling…" She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with air. "SSSOOOORRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!" she bellowed.

"Oh brother," said Kurama.

"Roar grrrrr roar roar grr?" asked the dragon.

"Yes, Kitsune's singing is always that bad, and yes, Himizu's always that loud, obnoxious and annoying," Ryouko replied. "I have such aggravating friends."

"HEY! You take that back, you vile and villainous vermin!" exclaimed Himizu.

"Yeah! My singing isn't always that bad, is it Kurama-kun?" Kitsune asked her dream redhead.

"Uh… well… er… um…" he stammered.

"Please tell me, Kurama, I know you'll never lie to me," said Kitsune, gazing at him with starry eyes.

"Well… I… er… maybe I… maybe I've just never really heard you sing a whole lot…"

"Will you just tell her in plain words?" urged Ryouko.

A scrap of paper was thrust into Kurama's hand. He looked up and saw Hiei standing there with a pencil in his hand. He opened the paper and read aloud, "Kitsune, your singing sucks. It always has and it always will." Kitsune put on a hurt puppy look. Himizu frowned.

"Isn't that a bit harsh?" she asked. "I mean, don't you think her singing could improve with time…?"

"By the way," asked Kitsune. "Since when have you been able to write? And where did you get the paper and pencil? Wait! Never mind. I don't even want to know."

"How bad could it be?" asked Himizu. "There's only so much you can do to get paper and pencils..." Hiei casually flicked blood off his katana and hands. There was an awful lot of it. And the marks on the paper were red… "Then again…" said Himizu after a moments pause.

Kurama suddenly snorted with laughter. Ryouko turned towards him. "What's so funny?" she asked.

Kurama couldn't stop himself from grinning. "I was just imagining Kuwabara and Yusuke's reactions to this journey."

"Good thing they're staying inside your imagination. I don't think I could bear it if they had seen this," Kitsune shook her head and pulled a brush out of her pocket and began brushing her hair.

Kurama flushed. "Ummm… Actually, we will learn their reactions later..."

Himizu, Ryouko, and Kitsune all turned to face him. "**_WHAT_** did you say!" they demanded together.

Kurama muttered vaguely about telling the other two boys about a hidden camera that was tracking their every move. Himizu punched him furiously.

"WHAT THE HELL POSESSED YOU TO DO THAT? BAKA IDIOT!"

"Himizu! Don't you dare yell at Kurama-kun!" exclaimed Kitsune. She turned to him. "WHY THE HECK DID YOU TELL THEM ABOUT THE CAMERA, YOU IDIOT!" She burst into tears. "AND I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME! BUT YOU DON'T! I'VE BEEN BETRAYED! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ryouko, Himizu, Hiei, Kurama, and the dragon all stared at her. "Uhhhhhhh……… -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;" Kurama looked around awkwardly.

"That's not how it is, Kitsune. I didn't realize that all these things would happen. I thought it would be a good way to be more secure. I never would have done it if I'd known that you would be so upset." Kitsune stopped crying and looked up at him. Then she hugged him joyfully, nearly breaking his ribs.

Himizu rolled her eyes. "He really is an idiot. That was probably his one chance of freedom, and what does he do with it? Throws it away to comfort her because he can't bear to see her cry. Kurama, don't you know that Kitsune's an actress and a politician as well as a singer…?"

"And a really bad one at that," added Ryouko. Kitsune whimpered and turned her head away from the girls to ignore them.

"And I thought Kuwabara was stupid," Himizu continued. "Oh well, let's go. How do you want to kill the other demons anyway?"

"Ahhh, let's let Kurama and Hiei have a little fun. They're probably bored by now," said Ryouko. She was now petting the dragon. Himizu twitched.

"I don't even want to know. Okay, you heard the woman. Get moving boys."

Hiei darted off rapidly, mentally calling Himizu every ghastly name he could think of. Kurama grinned and followed. Soon the terrified screams of demons filtered through the trees. Himizu grinned. "Let's go. I think they're ready." Kitsune reluctantly climbed onto the four-wheeler, but Ryouko shook her head.

"I'm riding Double-D."

Himizu's eyes rapidly expanded. "WHAT THE HELL!"

"That's what I'm calling the dragon. Stands for Dark Dragon."

"I can think of a whole bunch of names I would rather call him, and they're not too pleasant either. But if you want to ride him, you do that. Have fun. The four-wheeler has better traction and I would rather have control over what I'm riding anyways." She gunned the engine and the four-wheeler shot off. The dragon flinched as Himizu barely missed a tree.

"Grrrrrrrr roar grr roar," he muttered.

"Tell me about it. It's suicide to ride that thing. Especially when she's driving. After I get it that won't be a problem. Do me a favor, will you? Save their necks." Ryouko leaned closer and whispered something to the dragon, who nodded eagerly. Then they took off after the four-wheeler.

Kitsune was hanging on for dear life as Himizu followed the sound of the cries. There was a roar behind them, but Himizu kept going. "Ryouko is such an idiot. Doesn't she realize I'm trying to drive?" Both girls jumped as a ball of black fire sped past them.

"BAIL! DO YOU HEAR ME? BAIL OUT! JUMP! NOW!" Ryouko yelled as another ball sped past.

"The captain always goes down with her ship and the ship is never to be surrendered," Himizu called back.

"You're not on a ship, so shut up and jump!" Ryouko hollered back.

"Never! You'll never take me alive! You'll have to kill me first!"

"Don't tempt me," Ryouko answered, swooping past on the dragon and grabbing Kitsune, who was more then eager to come. Then the dragon hurled another fireball at Himizu's head. "Hey, wait for my signal!" Ryouko yelled angrily. Himizu turned at the shout and immediately did an impression of someone who had just received an electric shock. Her hair stood on end and she gave a startled cry halfway between a scream and a yelp.

"YIPE! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" She ducked rapidly and the fireball flew over her head, singeing several of her flyaway hairs in the process. The ball continued to fly until it reached the crest of a hill where a crowd of nearly a dozen demons were fleeing in terror from something behind them. The fireball hit them like a thunderbolt and they were all wiped out more effectively then if a nuclear bomb had hit them. There was a black blur chasing them, which screeched to a halt as the many shrieking demons vanished in a rush of black flame. Hiei stared at the spot where the demons had vanished and threw off his black cloak.

"Hiei-chan, you look so adorable without your shirt on!" cried Ryouko.

"Cretin!" hissed Himizu. Hiei ignored the girls and threw his cloak onto the ground and began to jump furiously up and down on it waving his katana and moving his mouth rapidly. He was obviously trying to yell at them. There was a burst of vicious squeaking and then, like an erupting volcano, a torrent of words came flowing out from his mouth.

"RACKA FRACKA FLIPPIN WALLA FRAPPIN YABBA DABBA POPPA CHOPPA FLIP BANG SNAGGA WAGGA DING DONG! #$&$#& $!$ $$& &&#$$& &#&&& #$&$& && #$&$&!"

"Are you angry, Hiei?" asked Himizu. Hiei glared at her.

"$$#&&& $$&$&& #&&& $!"

"Oh shut up, you annoying bombastic baka freak. Why is it that good things come to those who wait, but then they never get that good thing for any decent length of time? It's just not fair. By the way, why didn't you kill the demons?"

Hiei looked as though he would have loved to throttle her just then, but Kurama came strolling up over the crest of the hill. He looked around. "Well, I guess you found a way to get rid of the demons on your own. Very ingenious." Hiei cursed some more, causing Kitsune to press her hands over her ears. "What did I say?" wondered Kurama.

"Oh, that psycho fire demon is all mad at us because Ryouko and that dragon sent all those demons to Hell while they were trying to kill me…" Himizu explained. Hiei immediately stopped cursing and listened intently. Then he turned to Ryouko.

"I didn't realize you were trying to kill that annoying ningen. I suppose I can begrudge you a few demons in gratitude for that."

"Some gratitude. Do you even know what 'begrudge' means?" asked Himizu.

"Why don't you tell us anyway, Miss Dictionary?" asked Ryouko, sounding annoyed. Himizu, however, took the opportunity to go into her favorite subject: vocabulary.

"Begrudge, a verb, has three main definitions. 1. To feel ill will or resentment at the possession or employment of something by another, i.e. to _begrudge _another's fortune.

2. To regard with displeasure or disapproval. 3. To give with ill will or reluctance, i.e. to _begrudge_ them every cent. You, I believe, were attempting to use it in the third form, to give with ill will or reluctance. However, you aren't really giving anything, and you can't be all that reluctant about it."

"Wanna' bet?" he muttered.

"A better choice of words might have been relinquish, also a verb, meaning 1. To give up; abandon (a plan, policy, etc.) 2. To renounce or surrender (something owned, a right, etc.) 3. To let go (a grasp, hold, etc.). You would be using it in the second form, to renounce or surrender. That is more accurate. I hope you've learned something from this."

"Yeah, to never let you correct my vocabulary."

"Humph. Then I won't try to correct you next time. Use the wrong words, see if I care."

"Well, I know I won't," Ryouko muttered.

"Don't tell me you're stopping! This is amazingly informative. Vocabulary and definitions were never my favorite subjects, important as they are when one is talking, seeing as that is man's greatest talent," Kurama said.

"Shut up!" demanded Ryouko, Kitsune, and Hiei.

"Please, Kurama," Kitsune begged, glaring at Himizu and Ryouko, still resenting their earlier comments. "You don't want her to recite a whole dictionary, believe me!"

"You can recite the whole dictionary?" Kurama asked, suddenly looking at the wayward and sometimes agitating Himizu with new respect.

"Ha ha, very funny. No, I can't. But I do have a better vocabulary then my parents." Himizu grinned. "But enough of that. When you two boys were off chasing demons, did you happen to see the castle?"

"Actually we did. It's only a few more miles. On the four-wheeler, if you drive at a reasonable speed, then we'll make it in 15 minutes," Kurama replied.

"Okay, everybody hop on. And what's reasonable? Fifty? Sixty?"

"Try fifteen or twenty," Kurama suggested.

"FIFTEEN OR TWENTY?" cried Himizu. "I can't drive that slow!"

"We've noticed. You better do it or Double-D is going to reduce the four-wheeler to a twisted pile of scrap metal," Ryouko responded. "Kitsune, are you riding with me, or Himizu?"

Kitsune paused, considering this. Both options sounded nerve-wracking. But Himizu had promised to drive slowly. On the other hand, since when had Himizu ever kept a promise when it came to driving? Still, she _would_ be with Kurama. "I'll ride with Himizu, if she promises to drive more carefully," she decided, on the basis that the dragon didn't exactly drive carefully either. And Ryouko wasn't even steering.

The drive to the castle was basically uneventful, unless you count the black dragon swooping inches away from Himizu's head, nearly causing her to run into a tree and provoking her to shower him and Ryouko with curses to rival Hiei. Kurama tried to calm Himizu without success. In fact, he was rewarded for his interference by a quick slash from Himizu's nails across the arm. Then the black dragon threw another fireball at them, this time blowing out a tire on the four-wheeler. The four-wheeler flipped and everyone was sent flying. Hiei, Kurama, and Kitsune jumped clear and Himizu sailed over the low wall surrounding the castle. As she landed, there was a deafening explosion, like the kind you see in James Bond movies. Fire and smoke swirled around Himizu, who stared around in confusion. Blinded by smoke and scorched by flames, she crawled to a clear patch of grass and sat still for a moment, nursing sore and battered limbs. Then she looked around. What had caused this horrendous explosion?

"Himizu? Are you okay?" called Kitsune, running over.

"I think so. What the hell happened here?" she wondered.

"You're okay? Darn," said Ryouko, who was sitting astride Double-D a few feet above them. Himizu made a face. Kitsune sighed in relief that they were all okay. She backhanded Ryouko on the head, saying,

"Don't be mean, you fool!"

Ryouko glared at her, rubbing the back of her head, "Ouch!" Abruptly, she cried, "You hit me with the back of your hand! You must be French!" She ran and hid behind the black dragon.

Kitsune sweatdropped, "I am NOT French!" she said in a French accent. "I am Mexican! I do speak French though! Tu est la fille que est un estupid tigre!"

"This is all very nice, but… WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE? AND WHERE IS MY FOUR-WHEELER?" yelled Himizu, sounding not at all concerned that she was interrupting a very pleasant conversation.

Ryouko and Kitsune exchanged glances and pointed several feet to the left. Himizu saw a twisted pile of metal doused in black and orange flames. As soon as she saw the black, Himizu glared at the black dragon. Amazingly, she didn't speak.

"After we were thrown," Kurama, who had crept up unnoticed, explained quietly, "the dragon hurled a fireball which hit the four-wheeler. It was thrown over the wall and then there was that explosion. We thought…"

"Some of us hoped…" muttered Hiei.

"…that you'd been killed."

"Unfortunately, it's not my lucky day," Hiei said angrily.

Himizu was staring in numb shock and horror at the four-wheeler, one of her favorite things, burning down to cinders before her very eyes. Tears pricked her soot-filled eyes and she looked away quickly. "How could this happen? How was that explosion caused?"

"Probably land mines," Kurama answered.

Himizu looked up. It was a ghastly sight. Her glasses and face were covered with soot, except for some appalling white streaks that were either traces of sweat or tears. But her blue eyes were now alight with an unquenchable fire. "Did you just say land mines?" she asked eagerly.

"Uhhhh…. Did I…?" stammered Kurama, realizing what he'd done. "I don't think…"

Too late. Himizu suddenly had a metal detector in her hand and she began to patrol the grounds searching for land mines. Ryouko immediately joined her. Kitsune rolled her eyes as she looked at the pathetic remains of the four-wheeler then at Himizu, intent of finding land mines.

"What, no period of mourning?" she asked. Himizu scowled at her. Then she pulled a packet of miniature flags out of nowhere and threw them to Ryouko, who began sticking them into the ground. When they had searched the whole area, Himizu smiled.

"There. All the flags mark a land mine. Let's get digging."

"ARE YOU MAD, FOOL!" cried Hiei. "THOSE THINGS WILL BLOW YOU UP IF THEY TOUCH YOU! Wait, what am I saying? Go ahead and grab them, tight as you can. They won't hurt you."

"I'm not that stupid. I know what they'll do. But I have a secret weapon."

"What's that?"

"It's called dumb luck." Hiei did a face fault. Himizu dug up the land mines, flicked a little switch in their sides and began stacking them up. Ryouko just laid back and watched.

"Hey, why am I the one who has to do all the dirty work? You helped me out so far, now start digging!" Ryouko shook her head.

"No can do. You're the one with dumb luck, remember?" Himizu glared and went back to digging. Amazingly, none of them exploded. When she had a sizeable pile, she looked around at her five companions. "Well, we're ready to go in, right?" They all nodded and all six of them looked up at the castle walls that loomed over them. Himizu looked around at them all again. "What do you think we'll find waiting for us in there?" she wondered. No one answered, but they all got ready to go inside to face the perils within.


	5. The Triad's Defeat

**Disclaimer:**

Ryouko: Hey again!!! Sorry it took so long to post this chapter, just been having a little problem called school, math to be specific. So again, I shall not torture Himizu in this disclaimer, and instead we shall have a little bonfire of math related stuff.

Himizu: Second one in a row, keep it up and you'll get used to not torturing me.

(Ryouko and Himizu put a large pile of math related stuff in a huge pile and go hide behind a desk some distance away)

Ryouko: (evil grin) Just wait until the next disclaimer…And yeah, we don't own YYH or any kind of weaponry what-so-ever. (both girls take out grenades and throw them at the pile of math papers) Like I said, no weapons what-so-ever…

**Chapter 5: The Triad's Defeat**

As the group of six approached the door of the castle, they heard a loud voice calling,

"LOOK! Over there! By the castle! I see some people!" As Himizu, Ryouko, Kitsune, Kurama, Hiei, and the dragon turned around, they saw three people emerging from the trees nearby. Himizu's eyes grew huge.

"How did they get here?!?!?! I thought the machine came with us, and Kurama's the only one who can work it anyway! What are Kuwabara, Yusuke, and Botan doing here?"

"We can only wonder," Ryouko answered.

The trio of newcomers approached quickly. "Hi Kurama, hi Hiei. What are you guys doing here? I thought you were at Koenma's palace," Yusuke said, looking slightly confused. Botan looked even more confused then either of them.

"Hiei, how did you find out about this mission? Koenma-sama made sure you didn't know… And I know I left Kurama back at Koenma-sama's palace. So what are you doing here?"

Kurama stared blankly. "What do you mean you left me at Koenma's palace? You left me at Ryouko's house, remember? I talked to you on the communicator."

"I did? No I didn't. Who's Ryouko? And who are these three girls? And what is Hiei's dragon doing?" Botan now looked completely lost. Kurama sighed patiently.

"Botan, don't you remember? These are Ryouko, Kitsune, and Himizu. Ryouko, the one who's house we were at. Kitsune, the girl who is desperately in love with me. Himizu, the annoying one who is obsessed with hockey and Rick Nash." (The last remark prompted Himizu to smack him and Kitsune to smack her and Ryouko to smack them both, just for the halibut.)

"Pleasure to meet you, I'm sure. Kurama, when did you change clothes? When I left, you were wearing that white outfit with the purple sash. Now you're wearing the normal pink uniform. I like it and all, but why did you change clothes?"

Kurama was becoming annoyed. His green eyes were narrowing dangerously and he was looking very pissed. "Botan, why are you playing this stupid game? You know who these people are."

"No I don't. I've never seen them before in my life. Have you, Yusuke? Kuwabara?"

Both boys shook their heads. "Never seen 'em," said Yusuke. "Besides, we're busy, remember? We have a mission to complete, remember? We can socialize later."

Kuwabara was staring intently at the three girls. They glared back until Himizu became annoyed and punched him in the face. "Look at the trees, freak. Your brain can understand those, I hope. They aren't all that complex, you know. Why the hell did you follow us here anyways?"

"We never followed you. We were searching for that beautiful ice maiden, Yukina-chan. She's the most gorgeous creature ever to walk the earth. I wonder if she's as nice as she is beautiful," he mused. Himizu sweatdropped.

"You know, I don't think these are the Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Botan that we know."

"Why do you say that?" wondered Kitsune.

"Because this Kuwabara hasn't met Yukina yet," she answered. Ryouko sweatdropped.

"You know, for one of the few times in your life, you may actually be right," she muttered. The three girls did an in-sync twitch. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Baka ningens," he muttered.

"Burei-mono!" Ryouko snapped angrily.

"What!?!" Hiei hissed.

"Insolent fool. Sheesh, I know Japanese better then you." Ryouko rolled her eyes.

"LIAR! I knew what it meant. I wanted to know why you were calling me that."

"Because you are?" Ryouko suggested, sounding annoyed. Kurama now turned to listen.

"I didn't realize you knew a lot of Japanese," he said. Ryouko shrugged.

"Ta-su-ke-te," muttered Hiei. (Help me.)

"Yes, you do need help. I just don't know who can provide it," said Kitsune with a smirk. Hiei glared.

"Well, ain't this exciting? So we really did travel to the YYH movie. Amazing. Can we go home yet?" wondered Himizu.

"Hardly. We have to defeat the Triad and the Toguros first," Ryouko answered.

"Excuse me, I have no idea who the hell you people are, but rescuing Yukina is OUR job," Yusuke informed them, sounding pissed.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but we were assigned this mission by some people who outrank you. Your real selves, the ones that aren't in the episodes, gave us this assignment. We are trying to beat you in defeating the Triad and Toguros," Kitsune explained.

"……. Who are the Triad and the Toguros?" asked Kuwabara.

"Forget it," sighed Ryouko. "Just leave everything to us."

"Oh, I would love to see how these chicks handle this," muttered Yusuke, so he, Kuwabara, and Botan allowed the girls, Kurama, Hiei, and the dragon to enter the castle first. All three girls were carrying large piles of land mines. The first thing they saw was a young woman with long dark blue hair and a miniature horn. Himizu stopped short.

"Waaaait a minute. Isn't this the cross-dressing dude? What's his name… Miyuki."

"Yes Himizu, who else?" asked Ryouko, sounding annoyed. "At least, that's what she's supposed to be. There's only one way to find out for sure." Himizu and Kitsune looked at each other and twitched. "……. Okay, so there's two ways….. But I'm not doing it Yusuke's way, I'm no pervert!"

"We're comforted. How do you plan to do it?" asked Kitsune.

"With these." Ryouko pulled out (with a flourish) a manila folder. Himizu and Kitsune did a face-fault.

"Ok, how the heck do you plan to defeat Miyuki with a manila folder?" wondered Kuwabara.

"I'm not going to defeat him with the folder. I'm going to use what's _in_ the folder," Ryouko answered and opened it, pulling out a stack of photographs. She took the first one and held it up. It was Rick Nash. Himizu stared.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?!?!?!!?"

"From your dresser drawer, where else?"

"GIVE ME THAT!!!!!!!!" yelled Himizu. Ryouko tossed it over her shoulder.

"You can have it. It's ugly," she declared. Himizu scrambled to grab the picture and pulled it protectively against her chest, throwing murderous glances at Ryouko. Ryouko ignored her and pulled out the next picture to show Miyuki. This one depicted Orlando Bloom. Miyuki stared at it.

"… Who the heck is that???" she wondered. Ryouko, Himizu, and Kitsune exchanged looks. Kitsune grabbed the picture.

"Poor Orlando. She doesn't know who he is."

"He doesn't want her to know who he is," Himizu retorted, annoyed.

Johnny Depp was featured in the next picture. The reaction was the same. Miyuki looked slightly annoyed by this aggravating display of men. When they showed him Daniel Radcliff, however, they prompted a reaction. Miyuki glared at them and exploded.

"WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME A PICTURE OF A TEENAGE BOY, YOU FOOLS!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

"………………….," said Ryouko, Kitsune, and Himizu together. Hiei stared.

"Why did you just waste words by saying that?" he wondered.

"You're never one to waste words, that is true. In fact, you don't use words even when you should, but I'm not complaining. You're usually insulting me or saying something meaningless, which is the same thing, but nobody cares. Especially me," said Himizu.

"………………..," said Hiei.

"THERE! YOU DID IT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Himizu.

"Fools," declared Kitsune.

Ryouko ignored them and pulled out the next picture. She stared at it in horror. "Mel Gibson and young Sean Connery. Two ugly guys in the same picture. How the &#$ did I get this????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She threw the picture in the air and then shoved it at Miyuki. "Here, take it!" Miyuki stared at it for a moment before tossing it aside. Hiei craned his neck to look at it, made a face, and called to his dragon, pointing at the picture. The dragon hurled a fireball and the picture vanished in a puff of smoke and ashes. Ryouko cheered them on happily and pulled out several pictures in succession. "Brad Pitt, Michael Vartan, … What's this?" Himizu peeked over her friend's shoulder and made a face.

"Oh, it's Leonardo DeCrappio."

"WHAT!?!?!?!!?" the other girls asked. Himizu shrugged.

"That's what my grandma calls him. It fits him, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does… Oh well. NEXT!" exclaimed Ryouko. She pulled out a picture of Koga and paused. "WAIT! I like Koga! NEXT!" she cried, stuffing the picture back in he folder.

"KOGA!?!?!?!?! WHERE, WHERE?!?!?!?!" cried Kitsune, clawing at Ryouko desperately.

"They're all fools," muttered Himizu. Ryouko pulled out the next picture.

WAIT! I like Sesshomaru too!" NEXT!" she cried, stuffing that picture back into the folder too.

"FLUFFY!?!?!?!?! WHERE, WHERE!!?!?!?!?!?!" cried Kitsune, redoubling her attack. Himizu shook her head in pity. Miyuki stared at them in confusion.

"Why are you showing me all those pictures of ugly men. I'd rather have pictures of you lovely ladies." The three girls looked at each other, twitched, then laughed their heads off. Himizu, gasping for breath, managed to exclaim,

"So he's a cross-dresser and blind???" Then she fell over laughing again. Ryouko rustled through her folder for a moment.

"I always knew this picture would come in handy," she gasped as she held it up. It was a photo of Britney Spears. Miyuki took one look at it and did an impression of a wolf, growing a tail and long pointy ears, panting crazily, thumping his legs, and howling. Ryouko threw the picture at him. "Pathetic. Really," she muttered between laughs.

"Totally!" exclaimed Himizu, falling over in laughter again, picturing the turtles from Finding Nemo

"She's lost her mind!" cried Kitsune, unwittingly doing an impression of the robot guy on Treasure Planet. This just made Himizu laugh harder. Kitsune looked questioningly at Miyuki. "Is… she even a…. she?" Himizu and Ryouko face faulted. Ryouko hysterically grabbed Kitsune by the shirt collar and began to throttling Kitsune, yelling in her face,

"MIYUKI IS A CROSS-DRESSING MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU NOT FIGURE THAT OUT WHEN HE SHOWED NO RESPONSE TO THE JOHNNY DEPP PHOTO?!?!?!? WHAT WOMAN WOULD NOT EVEN RESPONDE TO A JOHNNY DEPP PHOTO?!?!?!" Himizu sweatdropped and petted Ryouko on the head.

"Let the fox go…" she said gently. Ryouko reluctantly let Kitsune go. Kitsune plopped onto the floor and then got up, rubbing her posterior. Kurama and Hiei sighed. Himizu glanced around nervously. "Can we please go now? Miyuki is scaring me. So is Britney Spears. They're all scary. Let's leave and find more scary people." So all nine of them ran to the next room. They all screeched to a halt just inside the door and looked around. No one was there. Himizu put her hands on her hips and stared around.

"Well, ain't this just peachy? We come here to kick demon butt and what do they give us? A Venus flytrap, a giant spider twitch, a crowd of terrified losers, a cross-dresser that's obsessed with just about any girl, and now this? Nothing?! I want to speak to the owner of this place! This is just plain cheap! I want my money's worth out of this!"

"You didn't pay any money," Kitsune argued.

"So?" Himizu replied. Then she yelped in pain.

"What now?" asked Ryouko as Himizu clapped a hand to her arm. She lifted her hand and revealed a small gash on her arm. Kitsune and Ryouko had big smoky-gray question marks dancing the cha-cha around their heads. Himizu stared at it in surprise.

"That was weird. It felt like I was being stung by a wasp or something…"

"That ain't no wasp, woman!" exclaimed Ryouko.

"That," said Kurama, "is the mark of a sword." Everyone turned to stare at Hiei. He looked back.

"What? I didn't do it. If I had done it, there wouldn't be a scratch on her arm, there would be a head on the floor."

"True that, true that," said Kitsune.

"Wow, Hiei. You've just met this girl today and you already hate her. That's got to be some kind of record, even for you," chirped Botan.

"Not really. First of all, he and I have, unfortunately, known each other for quite a while. Secondly, he actually wanted to kill me basically as soon as I met him. He took offense to the fact that I flicked him out of a tree. Long story," Himizu replied in answer. She squinted through the thick lenses of her glasses and pulled them off to polish them on her shirt. Then she gave a start. She polished her glasses furiously. Then she replaced them and looked around quickly.

"What _now_?" demanded Ryouko, sounding very exasperated.

"Call me crazy, but I thought I saw a blur over there, like something moving really fast."

"You're right, you are crazy," answered Ryouko. Then she paused. "On the other hand, you could have seen Imaki, who has the powers to turn invisible, move really fast, and use these really long metal claws to hook people with."

Himizu turned to glare at Kurama. "Sword mark, huh?" she asked. He grinned sheepishly.

"Heh, heh… BYE!" He turned to run out the door but was tripped by Kitsune and Hiei. Hiei grabbed him by the collar and pulled him upright.

"Listen, you stupid fox, you're the one who got me into this and you are not leaving until I'm allowed to. Got that!?" he demanded. Kurama just stared at him. Hiei was about to kill him when both Ryouko and Kitsune yelled in surprise. They stared at the floor where two miniscule bits of hair were laying. Then they gave vent to yells of rage and began hurling their land mines randomly through the air. Himizu stared at them.

"They're crazy… But what the hell? So am I!" And she joined them in hurling land mines. There was a huge explosion, ten times bigger then the one they had experienced outside. Imaki fell to the ground in a heap of lifeless clothes, bones, and skin.

"Nice aim!" exclaimed Kuwabara.

"Nice temper!" exclaimed Yusuke.

"Nice explosion!" exclaimed Hiei.

"Bad anger management!" muttered Kurama.

"SHUT UP!!!!" yelled the three girls. Ryouko and Himizu slapped Kurama; Kitsune slapped the two of them.

"Stop hitting my Kurama-kun!!!!!!!!" she cried angrily. Himizu and Ryouko ignored her and ran out of the room and returned with more land mines.

"I thought you got all of those…" said Kurama. Hiei covered his eyes.

"I don't even want to know," he muttered.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" demanded Kitsune. "Let's go!" So they continued walking into the next room. They had barely walked through the door when a giant walked around the corner. He halted upon seeing them and began to size up the girls. Finally, he seized Kitsune and lifted her up by the collar of her jacket. Kitsune screamed. Himizu and Ryouko exchanged glances.

"Raise your arms, fool," they said, at the exact same time. Then they looked at each other, pointed at the other, and cried out, "PC! Physic connection!" Everyone sweatdropped, except Kitsune.

"Uh, guys, this is all well and good, but, uh, could I get some help here?"

"WE TOLD YOU TO RAISE YOUR ARMS, FOOL!!!!!" they yelled at her.

"Oh… right…" She lifted her arms and dropped lightly to the ground. Gokumonki (the giant, in case you didn't know) glared down at them and then ripped Kitsune's jacket to shreds. Kitsune stared in shock before rolling up her sleeves.

"Right, that's it. You can do a lot of things to me, but you can NOT rip up a $70 fur-lined leather jacket that I recently bought in Mexico and get away with it."

"Okay, that made no sense. First, why are you wearing that thing in the middle of spring? Second, how could you buy that in Mexico where they have no need for fur-lined jackets? Third, why did you say it's brand new when you've had it for four years, at least?" asked Himizu.

Ryouko stared around with a blank expression, "One, Himizu has a point. Two, Kitsune has a point. Three…how come you know she had it for four years? And lastly…why does no one tell me these things!?!?! WAHHHH, I feel (sniff sniff) so unloved!!!"

" Ryouko…don't worry, I love you dearly, not queerly. Himizu…shut up. I'm trying to make a point here," Kitsune snapped. "But you're right, I bought it in an outlet mall in America for 10 bucks four years ago."

"Baka…If you waste $10 on something it should at least be without fur…" muttered Ryouko. Kitsune ignored her and attacked. Using a combination of martial arts and boxing, she punched and kicked at Gokumonki, causing many large bruises and abrasions to destroy his features and consequently make him unrecognizable. Ryouko and Himizu watched for a while before turning and beginning to walk away. Kitsune saw them walking away and cried out,

"Don't leave me!!!!!" She threw Gokumonki into the air and he flew towards the door. He landed on top of Hiei, who was squashed flat. Hiei skittered sideways in a style closely resembling that of a crab out from under the giant. He was completely flat, but the second the immense pressure of Gokumonki was off him, his body sprang back into position, like an accordion being stretched out. Except for his hair, which remained flat on top of his head. So he walked over to a wall and rubbed his hair vigorously against it until it sprang back into its upright, flame-like posture. Ryouko and Himizu looked at each other.

"Static electricity!" they yelled at the same time. Then they yelled, "PC AGAIN!!!" At that moment, Kitsune jumped up behind them and demanded,

"Why did you leave me!?!?!" Ryouko and Himizu stared at her and screamed,

"WE WALKED TWO STEPS, YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!"

"Oh, that's right! You did! Tee hee," she giggled. Himizu and Ryouko exchanged annoyed looks. But before they could vent their anger, Yusuke pointed out a camera that was mounted on a wall, near the ceiling.

"Ooohhh camera!" cried Ryouko. "How do we get it down?"

"Leave that to me," Himizu answered, seizing a chunk of plaster that had fallen from the wall next to the door.

"Don't tell me you're going to throw that thing," begged Kitsune.

"I'm not," Himizu answered. Kitsune sighed with relief. "I'm going to kick it." Kitsune's face became scared again. Himizu aimed the plaster at the metal bolts that held the camera in place, then fired. It was a perfect shot and the camera tumbled right into Kurama's arms.

"Wow…" he muttered. Himizu grinned.

"That's what seven years of soccer will do for you," she said calmly. "I have a hard kick too. Anyone want to feel it?" There were many hurried mutterings of how that was okay, they were fine, etc. Yusuke looked sympathetically at Kurama and Hiei.

"I feel sorry for you guys and I'm glad I don't know who these girls are. They're all psycho maniacs."

"Thanks Yusuke, we like you too," said Kitsune, punching him in the shoulder, making him stagger back several feet. Then she and her friends began to examine the camera.

Ryouko tapped the camera and called, "Hello? Are you gambling over whether we win or not over there????"

"I wish I knew if the people were still watching us," muttered Himizu, making a very icy face in the direction of the camera. "I would just love to let them know what I think of them."

"They'll learn soon enough. You can't keep your mouth shut, you'll tell them sooner or later…And I'll be more than glad to help you with that!" Ryouko replied. Then the three girls amused themselves by making faces at the camera and flashing the loser sign, hoping their gestures were being seen in Tarukane's lair. When they grew bored, they set off to seek out Yukina and to defeat the Toguros…hopefully.


	6. Onto Rescuing Yukina

**Disclaimer: **

Himizu: HA! Made it here first. Alright people, this time the disclaimer is all mine! We do not own YYH or any of it's characters, especially Hiei or the black dragon! Muahaha! Take that Ryouko! All that mumbo jumbo about getting me in the next disclaimer was just nonsense!

Ryouko: (walks in) What? Oh, you already did the disclaimer? Great! I was gonna' ask you to do it anyways, just kinda' slipped my mind…

Himizu: (sarcastic) Is that right? And where exactly were you?

Ryouko: (innocently) Me? I was on a date with Rick Nash.

Himizu: Oh, on a date with…RICK NASH?!?!?!?!?!

Ryouko: (sighs sweetly) It was sooo great! We went to see a movie and then we had some ice cream and I told him I'd call him soon and…

Himizu: -.- I'm…gonna'…MURDER YOU!!!!!! (starts chasing Ryouko with flame thrower)

Ryouko: (smiles and starts running) See ya' all next chapter!

**Chapter 6: Onto Rescuing Yukina**

Their steps grew slower and more uncertain as they approached the room where they would meet their final foes. Their feet made soft scuffing noises as they dragged on. Would they be able to defeat the Toguros, rescue Yukina, and escape back to their own world with their lives? Or would they all perish in the attempt? Both Elder and Younger Toguro have awesome powers, while Ryouko, Kitsune, and Himizu are just three simple ningen girls who just happened to have some extraordinary friends, a love of adventure, and reckless courage. Even with the help of Kurama, Hiei, the black dragon, and possibly Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Botan (the girls, especially Himizu, weren't willing to trust them just yet), would they still have what it took to beat the Toguros? Would the mission end in joy, honor, and glory upon returning safely home? Or would they all be killed, victims of their own foolish desire to prove themselves equal to four humans and demons who, in all honesty, were their superiors in Spirit Powers and fighting experience?

Ryouko now glances up at the ceiling. "HEY, OMNISCIENT NARRATOR PERSON!!?!?!?!? SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unless you wanna' end up in one of my disclaimers…" The narrator mumbles something about bossy females, and shuts up. Ryouko smiles in satisfaction. "Now let's get back to the story, please."

The large group entered the ornate double doors and the first thing they beheld was a row of what appeared to be five portraits of some dignified and yet sinister looking men. The three authors looked at each other. "The Black Black Club!" they exclaimed. Then they looked at the portraits. "DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they screamed at them, hurling their remaining land mines at the pictures. Himizu added,

"Fifty points if you can get it through Sakyo's head!" Within moments, every frame was nothing but ash, the faces vanished in a cloud of smoke. Himizu was looking eagerly for more portraits to vent her spleen and hatred on. Kitsune's eyes had spotted the tragically and pathetically mournful figure of Yukina standing in an enclosed balcony pinioned by Tarukane. But Ryouko's eyes had found a more immediate problem in two figures that blemished the already terrifying and repulsive room. She tugged on her friends' sleeves.

"Hey guys, look. We've got company."

Kitsune cracked her knuckles formidably. "Let me at 'em," she hissed through clenched teeth. Himizu turned to see who they were talking about.

"AGH! It's Arnold Schwarznegger's cousin and his pal, the mummy monkey! Die you disgusting freaks, let me rid the earth of your despicable presence!!!" she cried out dramatically.

"Jeez, even when she's threatening someone, she sounds like a textbook," muttered Ryouko.

"Die," hissed Himizu angrily, clocking her friend upside the head with her fist. Ryouko jumped up and managed to punch Himizu once before Kurama stepped in and pulled the two girls apart. Then he began to lecture them sternly.

"Really, you two are supposed to be cooperating and trying to defeat the Toguros, not arguing over trivial matters, such as these. It's silly the way you two fight, you get into a spat over the smallest insult, the most innocent jibe. Do you understand that?"

They looked at him. "Of course, you fool. That's WHY we fight! Because of all the little insults, the innocent jibes. It's in our nature," said Himizu. "Now go away and let us finish our cat fight in peace, will you?"

Kurama sighed. There was just no reasoning with some people. Most especially these two girls. The two girls turned back towards each other, bearing fingernails in claw-like fashion. Elder Toguro cleared his throat.

"Eh hm," he coughed. Ryouko and Himizu turned to glare at him. Kitsune giggled.

"Oohhh, you shouldn't have done that." Ryouko and Himizu suddenly ran at him, waving their hands and shouting,

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! DIE ET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Toguros stared. "ET? What does ET stand for?"

"ELDER TOGURO, YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!!" cried Kitsune, jumping to one side to avoid being trampled by her two friends. "Cheese, even I knew that. Though for a moment I did think they were talking about the cute little alien who wanted to phone home…"

At the mention of the movie, the two rampaging girls stopped short.

"That's a Steven Spielberg film. He's the best, but I can't believe he directed Jaws!!!" Ryouko cried.

"I know," said Himizu, shaking her head, "and to think that movie is called one of the best movies ever made!"

"I mean, think about all the poor sharks that were murdered by it!" exclaimed Ryouko.

"SAVE THE WHALES!!!" Kitsune immediately jumped up and yelled.

The two Toguros stared at them. "-.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"

"Brother," said Elder Toguro in his annoying squeaky voice, "these girls seem to be threatened more by environmental issues then with our presence. They don't seem like a real threat. Maybe we should just kill off their friends first and let them kill each other while we do it. Afterwards we can even go shark hunting…ehehehehe."

At the sound of that laugh, all three girls jerked into silence, with goose bumps clearly visible. Then Ryouko and Himizu hit them like twin thunderbolts. They began to hit, punch, and kick Elder Toguro. Bruises, abrasions, scratches, all these were popping up like boils on his skin. Kitsune hesitated only a moment before joining them. Younger Toguro glared at them.

"If I may ask… Why him? What about me?"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Ryouko, punching him. As he staggered, Kitsune jumped up and using a combination of Judo and karate, she did an amazing jump-kick that sent Younger Toguro flying through the air and straight through a stone wall. She turned around to see Himizu and Ryouko still beating up Elder Toguro.

"Hey! Save some for me!" she cried, returning to the fray. Kurama stared.

"Wow…" he muttered. Hiei flinched.

"Holy shit," he whispered, causing Kitsune to cover her ears and yell at him.

"Don't cuss in front of a lady!!!" She shouted.

Ryouko looked up and asked, "Lady? Where?" Imitating Scooby Doo. At this Kitsune jumped up and kicked at her with all her strength, only Ryouko put up Elder Toguro as a shield in the nick of time and sent him flying straight into the ceiling.

Kitsune leaped back as plaster and cement fell down on her. "My shirt!!! What in the world am I gonna' tell my mom when I get home so dirty?"

"Tell her I was redecorating," Ryouko smiled sarcastically as the three girls exchanged a laugh. Kuwabara and Yusuke just exchanged glances.

"What violent females," muttered Yusuke, who fell victim to another of Himizu's punches. When they finished, they saw Tarukane grab Yukina's arm and drag her to a door which led to the roof of the castle.

"Come on!" yelled Himizu energetically. "Boy, I'm going to need some Mountain Dew when this is over."

"Don't… even… think about it," growled Ryouko. Himizu, however, was musing.

"Now that my four-wheeler is…" Here, she paused to glare at Ryouko and the dragon. "totaled… maybe I can buy a H2, or an army tank like the one James Bond drove in Golden Eye! That would be too cool!"

"Not to mention too destructive. Besides, I'm anti-hummer, especially mustard-yellow ones. Get it out of your head while there's still some human life left on this planet," Ryouko replied.

"Please. You cause more damage with your armory. And you lecture me about letting humans live," Himizu retorted.

"That's just for protection against people like you!" Ryouko growled. Kitsune shoved them both hard in the back in the direction of the stairs.

"Argue about killing later, run up stairs now," she called out. Muttering rebelliously, the two girls obeyed. The three girls raced up the stairs, followed by Kurama, Hiei, the dragon, and Virtual Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Botan. As they ran, Himizu collided with someone running into the room where they had last seen Yukina and Tarukane.

"OY! Watch where you're going, freak!" she yelled angrily. The person sat up and they noticed some all-too familiar hair.

"HIEI?!?!?!?!?!?!?" the three girls gasped. Virtual Hiei glared at them.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

"Now, Hiei, that's no way to treat unfamiliar girls, especially ones you've just barreled over," a cool cultured voice cut in.

"TWO Kurama-kun's!!!!!!!" Kitsune looked as though she had died and gone to heaven. Himizu made a face.

"Lama me?" she wailed. "Why me?" Ryouko glared at her.

"You have no talent for forming Hebrew words, I hope you know that."

"Oh, shut up," Himizu snapped. "This is not my day." She dramatically fell to her knees. "Two Hiei's! What did I do to deserve this cruel punishment, dear Lord?" she cried, hands outspread as though appealing to Heaven. Kitsune didn't seem upset with the new turn of events, only confused as to which Kurama she should hug. She settled for running back and forth between them until Himizu grabbed her.

"Glomp twin Kurama's later, climb stairs now," she said, in a mocking tone. Kitsune made a face at her, but started climbing. Ryouko placed herself firmly between the two Hiei's, who were glaring daggers of hatred at each other. She threw her arms around them playfully.

"Come on now, why don't you two just get along?" she asked teasingly. Virtual Hiei looked around.

"Who the hell is she, who the hell are you, and who the hell are all these people?" he wondered. Real Hiei glared at him.

"SHE is an annoying fanfic author whom I am often forced to escort on pointless missions. I am your real self. And these people are the real Kurama and two more annoying authors, especially the one with the glasses…"

"HEY! Listen mister, I've had about enough of your mouth! I don't care if I have to face Ryouko's wrath, I'm going to murder you, do you hear me!?!?!?!?! I don't care if you mangle me, I'm going to send you to HELL!!!!!!!! Do you hear me!?!?!?! TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Himizu yelled. Virtual Hiei winced.

"And as annoying as I might be, I can communicate with your dragon better than you can," Ryouko said matter-of-factly as both Hiei's winced even more.

"They don't really like you, do they?" Virtual Hiei asked.

"Good guess genius. And here's some more news for you, I don't like you either, you little punk. If I get half the chance, I'm killing both of you, along with Ryouko and that bloody dragon and Kuwabara…"

"HEY! Don't lump me in a group with the mullet-haired moron!" yelled Ryouko as she turned to Virtual Hiei. "And it's not that I hate you or anything like that, but we have quite a complex relationship, based mainly on insults, so don't take it personally," Ryouko smiled as Real Kurama tried to explain the situation to Virtual Kurama, who accepted everything with unquestioning tranquility. He did seem annoyed by Kitsune glomping him every two or three seconds. Virtual Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Botan seemed relieved to meet the (to them) real Kurama and Hiei, but there was still the question of rescuing Yukina.

"We're doing it!" Kitsune declared. "We were assigned this mission by the real Yusuke and Kuwabara."

"You'll be happy to know," said Himizu to Virtual Botan, "that your real-life double tried to stop us. She thinks we're nuts, as I'm sure you do too." Virtual Botan could only nod in agreement.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" cried Ryouko, taking her arms from around the two Hiei's and racing into the room and up the stairs steps ahead of the others. "Let's go!"


	7. Time Machines Make Chemistry Interesting

**Disclaimer:**

Ryouko: (dramatic music) Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it…

Himizu: The moment you've been waiting for…

Together: The day we join forces against Kitsune!!!

Kitsune: (blink blink)

(Ryouko and Himizu tie Kitsune to a chair and place her in the middle of the room)

Kitsune: Wait, what? What am I even doing here? Let me go, you candlewasters!!!

Ryouko: Never, you wannabe Shakespearian insulter!!! (feels tap on shoulder) Yeah, what is it?

Himizu: Aren't we forgetting something?

Ryouko: (thinks) No, I don't think so…But it does feel like it…

Kitsune: Could it just be…that this is the last chapter of the fic?

Ryouko and Himizu: By Gosh, you're right! This is the last chapter!!! And this is the part where we say we don't own any part of YYH or anything else that can't possibly be ours until we rule the world! (although you didn't hear it from us)

Himizu: How could we forget?!

Ryouko: I think we got a little distracted…(points to tied-up Kits)

Kitsune: (tick mark) Nice to know, now how about untying me?

Ryouko: (considers this) Nope, I think I'm gonna' drink some MD and read the chapter again. You coming Himizu?

Himizu: Sure. (she and Ryouko start walking) How long should we leave her here?

Ryouko: Oh don't worry, I've called in reinforcements. She won't be there long…

* * *

Kitsune: Hey, hey, hey!!! Don't you dare leave me here alone!!! (hears footsteps)

Nik Zherdev: Funny, Ryouko told me to come here, but seems no one's here yet…

Kitsune: NIKY!!! YEY!!! (stands up still tied-up to chair and starts chasing Nik)

Nik Z.: NOOO!!! (tries to run away)

* * *

Himizu: How dare you call Niky and not call Rick Nash?!?!

Ryouko: Are you kidding me?! You have any idea what it'll take for him to trust me again?! Besides, one hockey player is enough…

Himizu: If you invite Rick Nash to a disclaimer or go on a date with him again, I'll murder you.

Ryouko: …Wait, does that mean I forgot to tell you about our date last night?

Himizu: (tick marks) WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Ryouko: JK, JK…My my, this disclaimer is almost a page long…Do you think we should start the chapter now?

Himizu: (glaring) Don't ever do that again…And yes, lets get it started…

Ryouko: Okay, lets…GET IT STARTED IN HERE! (starts singing BEP's song, with Himizu joining in, then they remember what they're really supposed to be doing)

Together: Uh-hum…Welcome to the last chapter of Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better, starting…NOW!!! (continue to sing)

* * *

**Chapter 7: Time Machines Make Chemistry Interesting**

As they ran up the stairs, Kitsune kept looking back at the group behind them Himizu nudged her sharply.

"Your beloved Kurama's are coming. Now move!"

"Oh, and you wouldn't be acting exactly the way I am if two Rick Nash's appeared?" demanded Kitsune.

"Oh course not! I'm not a lovesick puppy!" Himizu retorted.

"LOVESICK PUPPY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" cried Kitsune. "IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK I AM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? JUST BECAUSE I FLIRT WITH KURAMA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU AND YOUR OBSESSION WITH RICK NASH IS WORSE THEN MY OBSESSION WITH KURAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T START DROOLING EVERY TIME I HEAR RICK'S NAME MENTIONED THE WAY YOU DO WHEN YOU HEAR THE NAME OF A CERTAIN RED-HAIRED BISHOUNEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I DO NOT DROOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

"YOUR OBSESSION, NO DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As they argued, they continued climbing the stairs. They had now reached the roof and Gonzo Tarukane had turned around at the sound of their angry voices. Now Ryouko rounded on them.

"Argue about your pathetic love lives later, kill Tarukane now. Wait, what am I saying? Keep arguing, I'll kill Tarukane!" She turned to run in Tarukane's direction, but was tackled by Himizu. As they clawed at each other, Kitsune skipped merrily past, but the two struggling girls tackled her also. They kicked, clawed, and fought each other viciously. Everyone sweatdropped. Virtual Kurama looked at Real Kurama.

"How do we stop them now?" he asked. Real Kurama grinned.

"Watch and learn," he said, pulling out a large carton of Cookies & Cream ice cream. Then he stuck two fingers into his mouth and whistled. The girls looked up.

"ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they all screamed together and ran for the ice cream. But the two Hiei's got there first and took the ice cream away. As they ate, Real Hiei took out a piece of paper and wrote out a pact.

"You and I will lay aside our differences and combine our efforts to annoy and destroy all Himizu's everywhere, and to steal ice cream from all annoying authors in this world" he said as they both signed it.

"HEY!" bellowed Himizu. She jumped forward and whacked them both hard over the heads with her two fists. They fell and Himizu managed to grab a scoop of ice cream before the two Hiei's jumped up and ran with the contract and the ice cream. "HEY!!!! GET BACK HERE YOU MIDGIT PUNK #$&#&S!!!!!!!!!" she yelled, pulling out two skillets. She chased them and bonked them repeatedly over the heads with the skillets. "Hey!" she exclaimed happily as the rhythmic thuds filled the air. "I have my own band now!" Ryouko and Kitsune rolled their eyes. Then they waved to her.

"You play nice with the Hiei's, Himizu! We're going to go kill Tarukane now!"

"Not without me, you're not!" Himizu yelled. She threw the skillets at the Hiei's heads, scoring two direct hits, one on each head. The skillets split in half and the two Hiei's fell over, apparently unconscious. Ryouko ran over to them.

"Hiei? Hiei? _**HIEI**_!!!!!!!!" she yelled. The Hiei's didn't stir. Himizu smiled happily. Then she took a quick running start and jumped next to them, but she paled as Ryouko took out a flamethrower and aimed it at her.

"What the hell are you doing?!" she ducked and started running as Ryouko blasted her with fire.

"Well, technically speaking, when one pulls out a flamethrower their aim is to kill. But if I just set your hair on fire I can live with that."

"How dare you even try, you freak?"

"Waiting for you in order to kill Tarukane has gotten me bored, so I thought I'd try to set your hair on fire. And the Hiei's need someone to revenge their embarrassing collapse…"

"WE GOT HIT WITH SKILLETS, EVEN WE CAN'T GET OUT OF THAT WITHOUT BEING KNOCKED UNCONCIOUS!!!" The two Hiei's screamed before Ryouko got in another word.

"If you all continue like that, you'll break the roof." Kitsune frowned at them.

"…So?" wondered Himizu.

"Never mind," muttered Kitsune. Himizu shrugged and then the three authors finally attacked Tarukane. This attack was just as unorganized as the attack on the Toguros, with each girl fighting to get her licks in. When they finally finished, the limp body was practically unrecognizable as Tarukane. So, with grimaces of distaste, they rolled the body off the castle roof, although Himizu peered over the edge with a satisfied smirk as the body plummeted to the ground and Ryouko took one of the skillets and threw it at the falling lump of skin. Kitsune, meanwhile, ran to the chair where Yukina had been sitting.

"Yukina, you are safe now!" Kitsune proclaimed, turning the chair around… then she screamed.

"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YUKINA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" she screamed in horror. Ryouko and Himizu looked horrified for a moment, but then they started laughing.

"It's a mannequin!" they yelled. Kitsune took another look. Now that they mentioned it, that might explain her grayish-brown tint, her very stiff looking joints, and the fact that she had no face…But where was the real (or should we say, virtual) Yukina? This question was answered by a quick glance around. The three girls spotted her with Virtual Kuwabara. She was thanking him gratefully for her rescue. By listening, the girls realized that Virtual Kuwabara and Yusuke had snuck over, untied Virtual Yukina, and taken her to safety.

"So, now we're your pawns?" asked Ryouko, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," said Virtual Yusuke with a grin. Virtual Botan let out a high-pitched giggle. Ryouko looked at Himizu.

"Should we?"

"Sure! I'll take Kuwabara, you take Yusuke. Kitsune, you take Botan." The three girls marched forward, grabbed their respective persons, dragged them to the side of the castle roof, and threw them over. Virtual Botan pulled out her oar and stopped herself inches away from the ground. The two boys, on the other hand, fell with an almighty crash onto the ground. As she looked down, Himizu caught a glimpse of something large in the shadows of the trees.

"Is it just me, or did we miss a demon a while back?"

The girls looked and indeed saw a guard that they all simultaneously recalled from the episodes that they had never encountered. Himizu sighed. "Why is our work never done?" she wondered. Ryouko and Kitsune shrugged.

"Dragon," Ryouko called carelessly. "See that demon over there?" The dragon nodded. "Well, I don't care what you do to it, as long as it ends up dead…" The dragon did as he was told and the demon was gone. As they walked back down the stairs, Himizu sighed.

"This has been fun, but I'll be perfectly satisfied if I never see, much less fight, another demon in my life… And yes, that does include you Hiei's," she snapped irritably at them.

They exchanged evil grins and Himizu pulled out two more skillets. They immediately backed away.

"WHERE ARE YOU GETTING ALL THOSE SKILLETS FROM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" cried Ryouko.

"… You know, I have no idea," Himizu replied. Ryouko's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You know, if those skillets are from my supply of weapons, I'll make you regret the day you pulled them out in front of me…"

Himizu sweatdropped. "That's not it Ryouko, I swear! I only took bombs and some axes from your weapons closet, that's all, no skillets!!!"

"Well, in that case…Wait, what?! How dare you get into my weapons closet without my permission?!?! You're gonna' get it now!!" Ryouko jumped on Himizu and they started a huge catfight. Kitsune twitched and just kept walking, dragging a defending Himizu by the shirt, with a clawing Ryouko following her. Then they walked back through the room with the gapping hole in the wall and Elder Toguro in a twisted heap on the floor. They passed the open door, still held in place by Gokumonki. They passed the blown-apart room with Imaki's twisted body lying limply against the wall. They passed Miyuki, still wolf-like, drooling over the picture of Brittany Spears. Ryouko stopped fighting, as she couldn't resist beating him over the head for being such a pervert. Then they were outside, where they found Virtual Kuwabara and Yusuke, still alive, in a distorted groaning pile of limbs next to the body of Tarukane. Himizu could not resist stomping fiercely on all three bodies as she passed. They stopped in a clear area and Real Kurama began to set up the transportation device. Virtual Kurama helped eagerly, fascinated by everything. Good-byes were exchanged and Real Kurama quickly arranged the three girls, himself, and Real Hiei.

"If Real Kuwabara and Real Yusuke laugh at our adventure, they will pay," Kitsune said. Ryouko and Himizu nodded vigorously.

"Okay, it's ready," Real Kurama called. Everyone breathed a sigh or relief. Real Kurama pressed a button. Lights began to flash. And then the machine began to wheeze. Real Kurama began to look concerned. He made several minor adjustments, but nothing worked. Then it began to hum. "Uh-oh," whispered Real Kurama. Then he cried, "DUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Where?" asked Himizu. "If you mean that bird over there, I hate to think where you studied science. That's a goose!" She was tackled by Virtual Kurama as the machine exploded. Debris flew everywhere. When the smoke settled, the machine lay in ruins. Real Kurama cursed as he climbed up from where he had crouched to protect Kitsune. Real and Virtual Hiei stood up from where they'd protected Ryouko. Virtual Kuwabara checked to make sure Virtual Yukina was okay, although he'd protected her. And Virtual Yusuke helped Virtual Botan to her feet from where he'd knocked her. The dragon came floating back from wherever the blast had blown him. Himizu pushed Virtual Kurama off and jumped up.

"That was a pretty good explosion. What happened?"

"I think that the aachen mixed with the heptachlor and stannite and produced this reaction. What do you think, Virtual Kurama?" asked Real Kurama.

"That is a distinct possibility, but it could also be a reaction between the gramary and the vinculum," Virtual Kurama answered, thinking it over. Himizu sweatdropped.

"I never did like chemistry much," she muttered under her breath.

"See what you're missing out on?" Ryouko smiled happily.

"Could you build a new transportation device?" asked Kitsune. Real Kurama snorted.

"Sure I could. I hope you guys don't mind waiting for another four or five years."

"Four or five years?!?!?!?!?" the girls gasped.

"But, we'll be old by then!" cried Ryouko. "We haven't taken over the world yet!"

"And good riddance too," muttered Real Hiei.

"So now what do we do?" asked Himizu. She jumped as two hands clamped down on her shoulders. One was large and heavy, the other thin and spidery. "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Himizu in horror, trying to brush them off. She looked around quickly. Kitsune had a large brown hand clamped down on her shoulder and Ryouko had a thin, gray one.

"What are you going to do?" asked a low deep voice. "Why, you're coming to the Dark Tournament of course." Then there were two laughs, one deep and foreboding, the other high-pitched and cruel. The girls looked at each other. How would they get out of this one?

**Read "****I Can Do Anything Better Than You****" to find out what happens.**

**Side note:** The names of the Spirit World chemicals that the Kuramas talk about are actually real words. Aachen is a city in Germany, heptachlor is a waxy substance similar to chlordane (a poisonous chlorinated chemical), stannite is a metal ore, gramary refers to magic, and vinculum is a band or connecting fold. These words were not chosen because of their definitions, but because they are unusual words that most people (even including Himizu (gasp)) have never heard of. It makes the story more interesting.

**Authors note:** We're actually writing this together even though we're on separate sides of the Earth! Skype we love you! We can't believe we're finally posting the last chapter of this fic!!! Now, onto the sequel.


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